Speak Up 4 Mental Health Now!

My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt like it was going to burst through my throat. Then the nauseous kicked in and of course I am on a phone call with a client. "Okay, just breath thru this and you won't get sick on the call." This is what I was telling myself. Luckily I was able to make it through my call without getting sick. Thank goodness!  I woke up not feeling so hot, but figured it was just a case of the Mondays. As the morning went on, the worse I started to feel. Of course work was crazy busy and my anxiety was already in overdrive. Getting sick was just not what I needed.  I decided to take a nice long Epson Salt soak to help me with my muscle soreness and nausea. It helped relaxed my muscles and the heat helped my stomach feel better, along with a Tums or two.  However, while I sat in there I could hear my heart beat in my ears as it pounded hard in my chest. I also felt like I couldn't catch my breath. Why would I be out of breath, I was l...

I love music! Listening to music during the day helps soothe me, or even uplift me, depending on what I am listening to. On a nice rainy day, there is a certain style of music that I crave, which even though it is a bit of depressing, it is what I want to hear at that moment.  I enjoy listening to music live even more. However, with my OCD and anxiety it can be an extremely difficult thing to do even though I love it. This evening we went to see Judah & the Lion, which I was hesitant about at first. I love the band, and I wanted to go, but at the same time, I was torn and I didn't want to be in a big crowd.   OMG huge crowds with people in my personal space is pure hell! It was 95+ degrees out, which means hot sweaty bodies all around me. The simple thought of someone touching me, just made my skin crawl. When we first got there it wasn't bad, but slowly the closer it got to starting, more people surrounded us. We were fairly close to the stage, which others wanted t...

I made it and enjoyed our getaway trip to the mountains! Don't get me wrong, every moment was an internal struggle with my OCD. Yet, there is a calm after the storm of my anxiety of the weekend, as I am back home and back to my normal routines. Peacefulness!   As soon as we got there on Friday afternoon, I realized I had forgot my slippers!!! OMG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! What was I going to do? I was freaking out and my internal struggle began. Then I realized that I had my Lysol spray in my car trunk from softball practice. (I sprayed out the helmets before practice and after practice; I don't know why, but I feel better when I do it.) But luckily for me it was still in there and was my compulsion for my current situation. So I took it and sprayed all of the carpet in the room. Yup I totally did that. It gave me the relief that I needed to mentally feel comfortable in the room.  After that I felt okay. For me this is normal, but I know it really isn't a normal way to thi...