Speak Up 4 Mental Health Now!

My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt like it was going to burst through my throat. Then the nauseous kicked in and of course I am on a phone call with a client. "Okay, just breath thru this and you won't get sick on the call." This is what I was telling myself. Luckily I was able to make it through my call without getting sick. Thank goodness!  I woke up not feeling so hot, but figured it was just a case of the Mondays. As the morning went on, the worse I started to feel. Of course work was crazy busy and my anxiety was already in overdrive. Getting sick was just not what I needed.  I decided to take a nice long Epson Salt soak to help me with my muscle soreness and nausea. It helped relaxed my muscles and the heat helped my stomach feel better, along with a Tums or two.  However, while I sat in there I could hear my heart beat in my ears as it pounded hard in my chest. I also felt like I couldn't catch my breath. Why would I be out of breath, I was l...

One of my best friend's daughter calls me her Fairy Godmother. I wish that was really the case. I wish I was a Fairy Godmother; I could just magic away the help that is needed by so many others. I don't struggle every day with my mental illnesses but some days are way worse than others. Unfortunately there are so many people that struggle every day. To top that off, some of those people can't even afford the medicines that they truly need to help them.  This pains me to think about. I can't imagine not having the meds that I need on a daily basis. Now that I am in therapy as well, I can't imagine not seeing my therapist either. Yet some many people can't afford either.  With the inspiration from my husband, friends, and my Fairy Goddaughter, I have decided that I want to start a company (a non-profit), where I can be the Fairy Godmother to others; granting them the gift of money to pay for the mental health care that they need. I will need lost of supp...

This past week started out fairly rough then Tuesday I decided to put in PTO request to take Thursday and Friday so I had 5 days off in a row. In the description for my PTO request I actually entered Mental Health Day. I wanted to be honest with my manager. I don't think she is aware of my mental health issues. I have mentioned it only in casual conversation that I have OCD; however, so many people use OCD so lightly, like when they like things organized. That my friend is NOT OCD, that is just being organized and picky about things, which is totally okay to be like that, but it isn't having OCD.  I needs these days off from time to time to regroup. I still have crippling anxiety off and on every day, and my OCD is still in control. But I have gotta better with controlling my OCD at times. I am lucky to have a job where I can take paid time off if needed. I am also lucky to have insurance coverage that covers for my prescriptions and therapy. I was thinking about this over ...

The perpetuity of my anxiety is starting to anger me. All weekend it was a struggle for me. It was like I had a panic attack the entire time without any relief. Do you know how incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable that was? So far today I am doing better. I have anxiety and I am depressed, however, it isn't a full blown panic attack like it was all weekend long.    I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, my skin was crawling, I couldn't sleep but that is all I wanted to do, and I just would find myself fighting the urge to cry. This morning I didn't have all of those feelings, just fatigue, lack of motivation and overall depression, and I let myself just break down and cry to get it out. Letting it out I think really helped but I wish I didn't have to do that.  The thing is, I am doing better with my OCD, but that isn't my only issue that I am dealing with. I wish that was the case, however, my anxiety and depression has jump out from behind the cur...

I was watching the news like I do every day, which some days I question why I do, it is only full of bad news. They never talk about good news these days. Anyway, there was a situation in Denver and the news mentioned that the person had mental illnesses and was unstable. See this is what I mean. Now people just assume that all people with mental illnesses are unstable. That pisses me off to be completely honest with you.  I have mental illnesses but I am a fully functioning and stable person. I have OCD, Anxiety, ADHD, and Depression, this DOES NOT mean I am unstable. They need to elaborate what the situation is. Is this person supposed to be on medication and went off of it, and if so why? Was this person Schizophrenic? Are they Bi-Polar and had a psychotic break?  Just saying they had mental illness doesn't give them the right to act out violently to others. Just because a person has a mental illness and could be on medication for it, does not make them a bad person....

Tonight the softball team I coach had a game, and I have to throw in that they won too! These girls are in 4th and 5th grades which can be a really difficult time for girls. I gotta say I am extremely proud to call them my team.  They are so incredibly supportive of each other. The girls are at all levels of softball, some have never played while others have played several years. No matter what, they support each other like the team that they are. They have each other's back.  So much so that one of my girls came up to me after an inning and let me know what she heard from the other team when she was a runner at 2nd base. She told me that the other team's shortstop was bullying the centerfielder so bad while she was on second getting ready to run she saw the centerfielder girl cry. That upset her she said and that she thought I should know. She was right, I should know about this so I could let the other coach know this happened. It upset me to hear this as well. Yet...

It is hard for people who don't suffer with a mental illness to fully comprehend what we are dealing with. That alone is an entirely different struggle that we deal with.  We hear things like, "Oh, just snap out of it!" or "Get over it and move on!". Ya right, if it was only that easy. Typically these are lifetime illnesses that we have to manage every day. Sometimes if we are lucky enough, we can grow out of them and learn how to get "better."  Talking to a friend or family member who isn't dealing with a mental health issue, can try to understand, and some truly can to a certain degree. But it isn't the same as talking to others that are going through the same thing or similar situations. Talking to a therapist is also truly helpful as well.  I think it is really sad that people don't feel that they can talk about their mental health situations. I know several people that still in this day in age, that they think people will judg...

Some days are better than others....you will here me say this time and time again. Today, work was a bit overwhelming, not because it was bad, just because I was super busy and having a difficult time focusing. This was nothing that I couldn't manage, I just needed a break to regroup and finish up later. It just so happened a wonderful friend of mine needed me as well. So I took that break to be there for her. This needed to come first for a short period of time today and my ADHD and anxiety had to wait. Luckily I have a wonderful job that offers that flexibility, and I just finished with the rest of my work for the day before writing this. We took this time to just talk and listen to each other about what we were both going through today, and to do some much needed crafting for our softball team that we coach together. Yup crafting for our team, who decided to name themselves after a book series they are all reading, so we added dragon wings (super cute ones that were painte...