Speak Up 4 Mental Health Now!

Ugh is it Friday yet? I know it is only Tuesday but man. I have been in a funk lately, extremely anxious and more depressed than I have been in a while. My OCD has been up and down, I have had a lot of successes yet a lot of not so successful attempts to take control.  I have recently found out that I have to be in an aircast (aka the boot) for 3-6 weeks. I have to wear it at all times, unless I am sitting down and not walking around or when I am sleeping. So most of the day, since I have ADHD and don't sit still for long. OMG, my OCD sky rocked immediately, because my thought went straight to having to wear it in public. Nope, no way! Well luckily my friend and her family are just as accident proned as I am, so they had a boot I could borrow. So now I have two boots, one for around my house and inside only, and one for public. Score! I still can't face that hurdle of wearing just one in public and then in my house. Even if I washed it each time I came inside I would still no...

I talk to lot of people every day, between work and personal life. Some times you can hear in the person's voice they are sad, anxious, upset, and down right angry. Your tone says a lot about you. I tend to have a snarky tone around the house, from what I am told. LOL The thing is I am displacing my emotions on to others. We don't always see that we are doing that until it is brought to light.  For me of course my hubby thinks I am nagging when I repeat myself. Most of these times, I am repeating myself due to my OCD, although there are many times it is technically "nagging" for all intent and purpose.  Yet sometimes, I am happy and in a good mood, but I still sound snarky. Why would this be? I have realized recently that I am displacing my anxiety with a snarky or bitter tone in my voice. I also just act and vocalize myself in a snarky way. I have had extremely bad anxiety for a month almost. Needless to say it hasn't been fun for me and I am transposing this...

The perpetuity of my anxiety is starting to anger me. All weekend it was a struggle for me. It was like I had a panic attack the entire time without any relief. Do you know how incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable that was? So far today I am doing better. I have anxiety and I am depressed, however, it isn't a full blown panic attack like it was all weekend long.    I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, my skin was crawling, I couldn't sleep but that is all I wanted to do, and I just would find myself fighting the urge to cry. This morning I didn't have all of those feelings, just fatigue, lack of motivation and overall depression, and I let myself just break down and cry to get it out. Letting it out I think really helped but I wish I didn't have to do that.  The thing is, I am doing better with my OCD, but that isn't my only issue that I am dealing with. I wish that was the case, however, my anxiety and depression has jump out from behind the cur...

I was watching the news like I do every day, which some days I question why I do, it is only full of bad news. They never talk about good news these days. Anyway, there was a situation in Denver and the news mentioned that the person had mental illnesses and was unstable. See this is what I mean. Now people just assume that all people with mental illnesses are unstable. That pisses me off to be completely honest with you.  I have mental illnesses but I am a fully functioning and stable person. I have OCD, Anxiety, ADHD, and Depression, this DOES NOT mean I am unstable. They need to elaborate what the situation is. Is this person supposed to be on medication and went off of it, and if so why? Was this person Schizophrenic? Are they Bi-Polar and had a psychotic break?  Just saying they had mental illness doesn't give them the right to act out violently to others. Just because a person has a mental illness and could be on medication for it, does not make them a bad person....

Tonight the softball team I coach had a game, and I have to throw in that they won too! These girls are in 4th and 5th grades which can be a really difficult time for girls. I gotta say I am extremely proud to call them my team.  They are so incredibly supportive of each other. The girls are at all levels of softball, some have never played while others have played several years. No matter what, they support each other like the team that they are. They have each other's back.  So much so that one of my girls came up to me after an inning and let me know what she heard from the other team when she was a runner at 2nd base. She told me that the other team's shortstop was bullying the centerfielder so bad while she was on second getting ready to run she saw the centerfielder girl cry. That upset her she said and that she thought I should know. She was right, I should know about this so I could let the other coach know this happened. It upset me to hear this as well. Yet...

There are good days, then there are great days, but that also comes with bad days and even worse days. To be completely honestly I have been having some pretty bad days lately. But I don't understand why.  Work is going well for me. I love coaching softball and I am really getting a lot out of it and I think the girls are too. I am so glad that we are back home in CO and I am really progressing on our home improvements. Plus my mom and aunt are coming to visit next week. All of these wonderful and happy things in my life currently, yet, I am severely depressed. It doesn't make sense. I know and this is really making me mad.  I am down right pissed off to be honest. All these wonderful things are happening in my life but I am still depressed. I don't get it either and for someone that doesn't have mental illness it is even that much harder to understand. Just try to be in my situation. I love my life, I truly do, but I am not happy.  My husband is the best, truly...