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OCD in Control

It's been a week since I posted because I have had my mom and aunt in town visiting from Michigan. It was a wonderful week with them and I they had a great time while they were here. My mom and aunt both know about my daily struggles and are aware it has gotten worse since the last time I saw family back in MI. But they haven't seen how controlled by my OCD I am before this visit. I was really good though and very proud of myself. I am mentally exhausted, but nothing that they did. They were great. I honestly think that my mom got more upset about things that upset me than I actually did. LOL! If something that bothers me happens, I just explain that it upsets me and do what I need to do to feel better about the situation.  I feel it was harder on them than it was on me for them to be visiting. I know that I asked a lot of them and I am sorry. It isn't that I didn't want them in my house at all. Just the opposite. Them being here actually was a huge help. I know...
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Ugh, It's Just One of Those Days

Today was just one of those days. Every little thing upset me, I couldn't get rid of my anxiety and I couldn't focus on anything. And to top it off, I didn't want to touch anything and yet I did anyway.  I also didn't feel like I was good enough. Why? I know I am more than just good enough. Yet I feel myself going down a dark alley but I can't turn around. I hate when this happens.  I have done so good lately and I have made some extremely good accomplishments recently. However, it has mentally exhausted me. So much that I struggle doing things for myself and not things that I have to do to make myself comfortable, but me time. I need some me time pretty bad. My therapist had to point that out to me today which was a shock to me. Today it hit me, I don't like doing anything again. I don't have motivation to do anything for myself. I DO have motivation to do anything for my little pups and my hubby. They are my life. Honestly if it weren't for the pu...
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Weekend Getaway + OCD = Excitment & Anxiety

Long weekends away should be exciting, fun, and relaxing. For me it is exciting, stressful, anxiety filled, and exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I love traveling, but recently my OCD has taken over and controls my life more than I would like. So traveling isn't as relaxing as I would like, it is far from that.  Our lovely friends are getting married this weekend up in the mountains of CO. We are so happy and excited for them. Plus, this is a new area to explore that we haven't seen in CO and are very excited. Hot springs, mountain vistas, and nature all around us!! Sounds perfect right, yes!!  However, for me, I am thinking: shared beds, dirty carpets, germ covered door knobs, gross and unclean remotes, and god only knows what was last thing touching everything in the bathroom. Just thinking about that is causing anxiety for me and making me exhausted. Yes I know they clean the rooms, and this is a very nice place we are staying at for the wedding, but it is the unkno...
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