Speak Up 4 Mental Health Now!

I talk to lot of people every day, between work and personal life. Some times you can hear in the person's voice they are sad, anxious, upset, and down right angry. Your tone says a lot about you. I tend to have a snarky tone around the house, from what I am told. LOL The thing is I am displacing my emotions on to others. We don't always see that we are doing that until it is brought to light.  For me of course my hubby thinks I am nagging when I repeat myself. Most of these times, I am repeating myself due to my OCD, although there are many times it is technically "nagging" for all intent and purpose.  Yet sometimes, I am happy and in a good mood, but I still sound snarky. Why would this be? I have realized recently that I am displacing my anxiety with a snarky or bitter tone in my voice. I also just act and vocalize myself in a snarky way. I have had extremely bad anxiety for a month almost. Needless to say it hasn't been fun for me and I am transposing this...

My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt like it was going to burst through my throat. Then the nauseous kicked in and of course I am on a phone call with a client. "Okay, just breath thru this and you won't get sick on the call." This is what I was telling myself. Luckily I was able to make it through my call without getting sick. Thank goodness!  I woke up not feeling so hot, but figured it was just a case of the Mondays. As the morning went on, the worse I started to feel. Of course work was crazy busy and my anxiety was already in overdrive. Getting sick was just not what I needed.  I decided to take a nice long Epson Salt soak to help me with my muscle soreness and nausea. It helped relaxed my muscles and the heat helped my stomach feel better, along with a Tums or two.  However, while I sat in there I could hear my heart beat in my ears as it pounded hard in my chest. I also felt like I couldn't catch my breath. Why would I be out of breath, I was l...

After a really rough day, tonight was a great way to end my day. The softball team I coach had their last game tonight. Not only did we win the game and I believe were in first place for the season, but we won the season's Sportsmanship Award for the league. I am so proud of my team, not only did they grow and become a great team, good players, confident girls, but also the nicest team in the season. YAY! Being a role model is so much more than what people think. Children are so impressionable no matter what age. Not being a parent to a child and being a role model to them, is a crazy responsibility as well, yet nobody really sees that if they aren't a parent. I am not a parent and would never tell a parent how to raise their children; however, I am a role model for them whether I realize it or not.  I have nieces, a nephew, and plenty of friends who have kids which lives I am a part of. Kids are sponges, we all know that, but as a non-parent we don't realize how much w...

One of my best friend's daughter calls me her Fairy Godmother. I wish that was really the case. I wish I was a Fairy Godmother; I could just magic away the help that is needed by so many others. I don't struggle every day with my mental illnesses but some days are way worse than others. Unfortunately there are so many people that struggle every day. To top that off, some of those people can't even afford the medicines that they truly need to help them.  This pains me to think about. I can't imagine not having the meds that I need on a daily basis. Now that I am in therapy as well, I can't imagine not seeing my therapist either. Yet some many people can't afford either.  With the inspiration from my husband, friends, and my Fairy Goddaughter, I have decided that I want to start a company (a non-profit), where I can be the Fairy Godmother to others; granting them the gift of money to pay for the mental health care that they need. I will need lost of supp...

It's so easy to speak out and tell others to make sure that you are taking some "me time", but following through with it myself is not so easy. I need to practice what I preach, so to speak LOL. It turns out it can be really hard to take time out for myself.        Every morning I am trying to get up 30 minutes earlier for "me time" on my back patio. I sit there and drink my coffee, water my veggie garden, and watch the pups run and play in the backyard. This is a nice time every morning to just relax before starting my day off.  This is typically all I can do for myself every day. For me cleaning typically is a relaxing thing to do. Yet at this time, I don't even enjoy that and I can't say that is relaxing like normal. So I actually have to set time aside every day, in sessions throughout the day, so I can make sure that I can "try" to relax and think about me. I am the person that will always be there if I am needed or asked to help. ...

This past week started out fairly rough then Tuesday I decided to put in PTO request to take Thursday and Friday so I had 5 days off in a row. In the description for my PTO request I actually entered Mental Health Day. I wanted to be honest with my manager. I don't think she is aware of my mental health issues. I have mentioned it only in casual conversation that I have OCD; however, so many people use OCD so lightly, like when they like things organized. That my friend is NOT OCD, that is just being organized and picky about things, which is totally okay to be like that, but it isn't having OCD.  I needs these days off from time to time to regroup. I still have crippling anxiety off and on every day, and my OCD is still in control. But I have gotta better with controlling my OCD at times. I am lucky to have a job where I can take paid time off if needed. I am also lucky to have insurance coverage that covers for my prescriptions and therapy. I was thinking about this over ...

The perpetuity of my anxiety is starting to anger me. All weekend it was a struggle for me. It was like I had a panic attack the entire time without any relief. Do you know how incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable that was? So far today I am doing better. I have anxiety and I am depressed, however, it isn't a full blown panic attack like it was all weekend long.    I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, my skin was crawling, I couldn't sleep but that is all I wanted to do, and I just would find myself fighting the urge to cry. This morning I didn't have all of those feelings, just fatigue, lack of motivation and overall depression, and I let myself just break down and cry to get it out. Letting it out I think really helped but I wish I didn't have to do that.  The thing is, I am doing better with my OCD, but that isn't my only issue that I am dealing with. I wish that was the case, however, my anxiety and depression has jump out from behind the cur...